Two Lists Of Ten Things And A Big Ass Secret
Try and try again
10 Things I Gained From Sobriety
1. Balls
2. Balls
3. Balls
4. Balls
5. Balls
6. Balls
7. Balls
8. Balls
9. Balls
10. Balls
Get you some..
Let me try this again…
10 Things I Reclaimed Once I Quit Drinking
1. Self-respect
2. Values
3. Discipline
4. Motivation
5. Curiosity
6. Clarity
7. Perspective
8. Higher mother fucking standards
9. My waist
10. My health
And in progress on 11, 12, and 13
Drive, passion, creativity
And balls, don’t forget the balls, I got sacks of them fuckers laying around here somewhere.
Let me try this again…
How I Quit Drinking
OK, I’m going to spill the big secret. The hack to quitting drinking. If you don’t give a fuck, scroll by.
This is for anybody that wakes up in the morning hating on themselves for drinking too much the night before, over and over again. This is for anybody that wakes up in the morning hating themselves for drinking when they said they wouldn’t but did anyway. This is for anybody that wakes up thinking the alcohol they drank last night is ruining their health. This is for anybody who wakes up thinking that the alcohol they drank last night is ruining their fitness goals. This is for anybody who wakes up thinking that the alcohol they drank last night is ruining their relationships. This is for anybody who wakes up thinking that the alcohol they drank last night made them act like a fucking asshole. This is for anybody who wakes up relieved to find themselves in their own bed because they blacked out from drinking and don’t remember what happened. This is for anybody who wakes up in the morning embarrassed as fuck about whatever stupid ass thing they did when they were drunk the night before. This is for anybody that has repeatedly questioned if they have a problem with alcohol, or who wonders what life could possibly be like without it. This is for anybody who secretly thinks that drinking is holding them back from living their best life or following their dream or working on a goal. This is for anybody that thinks the thing that makes them cool or sophisticated is how much they drink or what it is that they drink, but wakes up with one or more of the above thoughts. This is for anybody who solidly identifies as a drinker and can’t imagine their life, especially their social life, without alcohol in it, but wakes up with one or more of the above thoughts.
Here is specifically how you do it. How you quit drinking.
Wait, you don’t want to know how to do it? Why the fuck are you still reading this?
Ok, now it’s just us. Are you listening? Brace yourself, here is the big ass secret:
You just don’t drink.
That’s it.
You don’t bargain with yourself about how many days of the week you can drink or how much you can drink on the days of the week you’re telling yourself that you can drink. You don’t make rules about what occasions you will allow yourself to drink at. You don’t drink only when you go out to dinner. You don’t drink only when you’re on vacation or at your daughter’s wedding.
You don’t let the rules and the bargaining about alcohol live rent free in your head. You don’t waste your mental energy on that.
You just don’t drink.
You no longer wake up thinking about all the things I just ran through in that paragraph right up there. No drinky = those thoughts be gone.
I’ll tell you the next big secrets soon. The secrets of what you do once you just don’t drink. I’ll save those secrets for another time.
* Post #38 of 104
* This is part of a one-year writing project. I write something and post it on Mondays and Thursdays. Some of it will suck. I'm doing it anyway.